Sunday, April 19, 2009

Ghonchu, his Soul Mate and the Professor

Ghonchu was tired and upset. His assignment to Professor Strictu's course was due (it was 10 minutes to midnight) and his code wasn't working. He had a brainwave. He decided to ask Professor Strictu by mail for an extra day to complete the assignment.

The next day, he entered the lab after lunch. On checking his mailbox, he was relieved to see that the Professor had granted his request albeit reluctantly stating that this should not become the norm ... you should maintain deadlines and other such nonsense.

He sat down to debug his non-working code. He opened the terminal and wrote './run benchmarks'. The terminal said Segmentation Fault. The same had happened the previous night; Ghonchu being the eternal optimist had hoped his code would have corrected itself overnight while he was sleeping.

After half an hour of tinkering with his code and cursing Professor Strictu 36 times during that period, he wrote './run benchmarks' again. The terminal said Segmentation Fault again.

Frustrated and thirsty, Ghonchu decided to drink a glass of cold water. On his way to the water cooler, he saw a beautiful girl. Suddenly, Ghonchu's eyes told him that the girl was speaking to him. Ghonchu's ears told him that the girl was asking him if there was any place on campus to eat something. Ghonchu decided that he would have to drink a cup of hot tea to quench his thirst. He heard himself saying that he was on his way to Tea Board and would love to escort her.

Ghonchu, his code already forgotten, walked jauntily to Tea Board along with his soulmate. He had fallen in love on previous occasions. However, despite having fallen in love 17 times previously, he felt this was the real thing. Some people might say Ghonchu could give Bingo Little a run for his money.

However inevitably, a calamity was waiting to happen. At a distance of around 50 meters, Ghonchu spotted Professor Strictu coming towards him and on the same side of the road. Ghonchu cursed Professor Strictu for the 37th time in forty minutes and thought of his options :-
- Ignore him totally
- Just wish him 'good afternoon' and walk past
- Hide behind his soulmate

Problem with option 1 and 2 was he remembered his code and the Professor's mail about adhering to deadlines. He knew Professor Strictu well and knew that he would derive a sadistic pleasure in stopping Ghonchu and asking him about his assignment. Option 3 wasn't feasible.

However then he suddenly spotted bhOndOO walking towards him on the other side of the road at a distance of 20 meters. With the cunning of a jackal, Ghonchu decided to crossover to the other side, talk to bhOndOO on some pretext, greet the Professor from the other side of the road and then catch up with his soulmate later on. He told his soulmate he had something important to discuss with bhOndOO and asked her to carry on to Tea Board where he would catch her.

Ghonchu executed his plan to perfection and started talking with bhOndOO keeping one eye on the Professor. As the distance between them grew closer, Ghonchu smiled (more like baring his teeth like a wolf) at the Professor. He then realized that the Professor was paying no heed to him. Surreptiously, he followed Professor Strictu's line of sight and realized that he was busy staring at his soulmate.

The Professor passed Ghonchu and bhOndOO without even noticing them and continually looking backwards at the diminishing sight of Ghonchu's soulmate. With evil thoughts, Ghonchu cursed Professor Strictu for the 38th time in forty five minutes and compared him with a poisonous snake.

After the poisonous snake had passed, Ghonchu got rid of bhOndOO quickly (who was unaware of all that passed), and quickly rushed to Tea Board. His eyes searched for his soulmate and finally found her already walking away from the Tea Board with a packet of Kurkure in hand. The distance between them was already 30 meters and increasing.

Dejected, Ghonchu gave up the chase, walked back to the lab and started debugging his code.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Am I getting older !!

I always had the impression or the belief that myself and others of my age are still quite young. So, more often than not, it is a pleasure to indulge in pranks, make silly, nonsensical jokes and what-nots. No need to behave in a mature manner, that maturity and thoughtfulness (assuming of course that I possess it) preferably lies underneath the facade of childish playfulness. However, I recently have had train of thoughts which led me to think otherwise.

A few days ago, I chanced to look upon an old Maths notebook of 11th standard. To digress a bit, 11th and 12th standard were the only times I really studied and evolved as a person. Credit goes to my school but mainly to my coaching institute – Vidya Mandir Classes who gave me an experience worth a lifetime. Those lectures about life; the amount of intense study, sometimes upto 12-14 hours a day which were accomplished without a grudge or a thought- why am I doing this.. those days really left me with a lot of poignant memories. They were inspirational. Period. I never needed to or had the will to work as hard again, neither during my BE, maybe a bit during 1st semester of Masters. So to speak, I always held 11th and 12th standard as the point in my life from where it all began. Those are the days I always held as the start date to calculate anything...

But now looking at that notebook of 11th standard, I happened to glance at the date of a class. It was 9th Dec 2001. 8 years (7.5 to be precise) ago. That suddenly seemed like a long long time. And yet as I glanced through that notebook, I remembered things as though they had happened yesterday.

In another incident this weekend, a 17-year old kid (notice the way I call a 17-year old person a kid) scored a wonderful match-winning goal for Manchester United. I looked at him, and thought, not so long ago I used to dream to do something like that. Not so long ago, I dreamt of hitting a century (even double would do) in a world cup, scoring a goal or two in football, winning a grand slam ... and so on. I am sure everyone goes through such fantasies as a teenager.

At twenty three and a half, questions like 'am i getting older' shouldn't ideally be going through one's mind. But those reminiscences left me with this feeling. Dreams I had, things I thought happened just yesterday actually happened a long time ago; 8-10 years ago. Those years in between passed away without my realizing it.

Maybe all this is like a moving window. Maybe two-three years down the line, I would have forgotten school, and would remember things starting only from my BE and so on.. I certainly hope not. Yet again here I remember a comment in Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix by Dumbledore : “Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.”

I certainly hope I never I commit that mistake.

Of course, all these are just random senti thoughts; it could just be the case my food didn't agree with me today, or I got up on the wrong side of the bed; which led me to write such stuff. Tomorrow I will get back to my nonsensical normality.


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Some of my favourite quotations/words/dialogues

Frodo : I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf : So do all who live to see such times but that is not for us to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

-Excerpt from Lord of the Rings – Fellowship of the Ring.


IF you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you have spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to be broken,
Amd stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools.

(Excerpts from the poem IF – by Rudyard Kipling)


Shahid : Sirf hasi, khel, mazak zindagi nahi hota. Life mein serious bhi hona padta hai.
Kareena : Tum to life mein bahut serious the na. Kya hua. Bahut bade problem mein tum bhi to fas gaye. Aage kya hone vala hai, is par kisi ka control to hai nahi. To aise mein main vohi karti hoon jo mera dil kehta hai. Kal ko main kisiko blame nahi karna chahati. Meri vajah se hoga jo bhi hoga..... Funda jyada hogaya na.

-From the movie Jab We Met


Dumbledore : Do you see, Harry? Do you see the flaw in my brilliant plan now? I had fallen into the trap I had foreseen, that I had told myself I could avoid, I must avoid.
Harry : I don't -
Dumbledore : I cared about you too much. I cared more about your happiness than your knowing the truth, more for your peace of mind than my plan, more for your life than the lives that might be lost if the plan failed. In other words, I acted exactly as Voldemort expects we fools who love to act.

-Excerpt from Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix


"Well, it is clear to me that he has done a very good job on you," said Scrimgeour, his eyes cold and hard behind his wire-rimmed glasses, "Dumbledore’s man through and through, aren't you, Potter?"
"Yeah, I am," said Harry. "Glad we straightened that out."
And turning his back on the Minister of Magic, he strode back toward the house.

-Excerpt from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince


Some people are too tired
to give you a smile.
Give them one of yours,
as none needs a smile so much as he
who has none to give.

-Unknown

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Ghonchu plays football

One night, Ghonchu had a dream. He was playing a football match (something he hadn't done since ninth standard) in IISc and scored a magnificent goal which earned him a tumultuous applause from girls (importantly) and boys alike. Usually Ghonchu used to forget his dreams by the time he woke up but this time was an exception. He remembered his dream. So, he decided to go and play football in the Gymkhana.

During breakfast at the mess, he announced his intentions to his friends. His audience consisted of Peechu, Cuteu, Buddhu, Kemchu and a cat which had come in by the mess window in search of breakfast. Their reactions were as follows :-
Peechu : 'Don't be a fool, Ghonchu! Do you even know the rules?'
Cuteu : 'You will get hurt.'
Buddhu, Kemchu and the cat were indifferent to Ghonchu's desire to play football. The three were more interested in their breakfasts or the lack of it (as in the cat's case).

Undaunted by the curtness and indifference of his friends, Ghonchu decided to go and buy a football jersey before venturing out to the Gymkhana. After some search and bargaining, Ghonchu bought a football jersey of his favorite player, Steven Gerrard.

In the evening, Ghonchu strutted out to the football ground wearing his brand new red-colored jersey. To his pleasant surprise, he was easily accepted and inducted into one of the teams and asked to play in defense. The first time the ball came close to him was when the opposition forward dribbled past him with total ease and scored. After earning the wrath of his team-mates, Ghonchu resolved to defend better. The next time the same player came along, Ghonchu kicked him on the shin while attempting to touch the ball. This time he earned the wrath of everyone, with his captain lecturing him not to play violently. Harried and perplexed, Ghonchu finally touched the ball on his third attempt which was a pass by a fellow defender. Delighted and relieved, Ghonchu decided to indulge in some fancy footwork. Determined to show his Ronaldo-like skills, he dribbled past one of the opposition. Then he decided to do a step-over. That in essence was where he made his mistake. His friends, though curt and indifferent, had they been watching, would have shaken their heads sadly. Even the cat would have miaowed mournfully had it known Ghonchu was going to try a step-over.

For those pitiable and ignoramus readers who don't know what a step-over is; a step-over is when a player steps over the ball. Quite elementary, isn't it.

Well, no more dilly-dallying, let the unhappy sequence of events be laid down before the reader.
The sequence of events were as follows :-
- Ghonchu tried a step-over.
- Instead of stepping over the ball, he stepped on the ball.
- He lost his balance, and flayed his arms wildly.
- His direction of movement then became downwards.
- He desperately used his left hand to get some leverage while falling down.
- When he finally landed, his left wrist took his entire body weight.
- Ghonchu lay on the ground clutching his left wrist in agony.
- His red jersey was now red-and-brown.
- He got up and left the football ground with all thoughts of scoring a goal discarded.
- Thus ended Ghonchu's brief foray into playing football.
- The next day he went to the Health Center where it was discovered that he had fractured his wrist.
- Now Ghonchu wears a cast.

Ghonchu told his story to his friends hoping for sympathy. His friends' reactions were as follows :-
Peechu said, “I won't say I told you so, but I told you so.”
Cuteu said, “I said you might be injured but even I didn't imagine you would injure your hand while playing football. This must be something unique.”
Buddhu and Kemchu were yet again indifferent, they were busy gobbling their dinner.
The cat (not sure if it was the same one as the previous) miaowed pitifully, which Ghonchu took to be a gesture of sympathy.

Henceforth, Ghonchu decided that it is advisable not to place any trust on dreams.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Ghonchu travels by train

Ghonchu had traveled by train many times in the past. Having seen the movie ‘Jab We Met’, he was always hopeful of meeting a ‘Kareena’ to whom he could be a ‘Shahid’. But as luck would have it, he had drawn a total blank in all his previous journeys. On prior occasions the closest he had come to a ‘Kareena’ was the girl in the next compartment who had refused to talk to him since he was in another compartment. Ghonchu resented compartmentalization. Why was it that only people from the same compartment could talk to each other?

However, another opportunity had presented itself. This time he was going from Bangalore to Bombay and back. Being an incurable optimist, he went to Yeswantpur station with a smile on his face humming the tune ‘hum jo chalne lage’. He reached the station fifteen minutes before departure. On entering his coach and after finding his seat, Ghonchu was pleasantly taken aback. There were not one, but three Kareenas’ sitting there and gossiping. No one else was there. Ghonchu kept his luggage and thought to himself, “jab Bhagwan deta hai, to koi kanjoosi nahi karta”.

After sitting opposite to them, he observed some other people passing by and lingering in front of their compartment. Ghonchu glared at them and developed a fierce liking for the compartmentalization concept. After getting rid of the undesirables, he sat back trying to decide which one he liked the most. After some thought, he chose the middle ‘Kareena’. But then suddenly the left ‘Kareena’ smiled and the right ‘Kareena’ laughed in quick succession causing Ghonchu to become dizzy and murmur “left, no right”. Suddenly, he realized the three were looking at him maybe because he had been staring at them for too long. To avert embarrassment, Ghonchu showed great presence of mind and asked, “Are you all going to Bombay?” The middle ‘Kareena’ replied yes causing Ghonchu to switch loyalties again.

However after this ‘breaking-of-ice’ conversation the three of them studiously ignored him. Ghonchu wasn’t perturbed; he felt 24 hours was a long enough time for a person of his capabilities.

The train now started moving. Suddenly, three ‘Shahids’ entered their compartment and sat down pushing Ghonchu to the corner. The six of them chatted freely while Ghonchu looked at them with a sinking heart. Suddenly one ‘Shahid’ (looked more like Amrish Puri to Ghonchu) turned to him and asked, “Hey, we are a group but my seat is two compartments away. Would you mind switching seats with me?” Ghonchu, even though an incurable optimist knew that he was beaten. “Too many ‘Shahids’ spoil the broth”. He accepted defeat and said yes to Amrish Puri. After all, there was still the return journey to come.

PS: During the return journey, his compartment consisted of an elderly couple and three fat men in their forties who kept chewing paan.

Ghonchu

Some twenty-three years ago, Ghonchu was born although not known by that name until now. From now on, his reminiscences will be occasionally published on this blog.

"But what of his earlier life details?", you might ask. Well, fortunately the loss to literature is not irretrievable as who knows one day, like all the other great people in this world, Ghonchu may bring out his biography. Until that time, the public will have to be patient and satisfy themselves with his occasional narrations on this blog.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Learning to appreciate what we have

We often crib about a number of things. I don't have this, don't like that, this thing is useless and so on.. Often we don't find the time to appreciate what we really have and what are our true assets. Those are just taken for granted.

We grumble about the quality of food and the hygiene at tea-board. However at the same place, there are children who are working, mistreated, often man-handled and they don't even get two square meals a day. We talk about various problems faced at IISc - quality of mess food etc etc. Yet we realize IISc's value and its ambience is missed only when we leave the place. We fight with loved ones over trivial issues. Only when we lose them, we realize their value and how much we miss them.

I have a strong belief that whenever one feels bad, depressed or upset about something; there is a way to feel better. Just look around with your eyes open, and you would definitely find someone else in a worse situation than yours. Looking at that person you might actually feel ashamed and appreciate that your problems are trivial compared to what the other person might be facing.

It might actually be a good idea to spend a minute daily to reflect upon what all we really have, what all God gave us and be thankful.


Food for thought:

This is a slight digression but is based on a conversation I had with a friend. The recent hullabaloo about lack of hot water in hostels is known to everybody (now the problem has been solved). I was one of the sufferers as well. Still, this is a slightly different view point.

One wonders that do we students really appreciate the amenities they are provided with. Do we really deserve any better!! Do people like us who may not have basic civic sense have a right to complain! There was an incident of someone in the hostel running his nose and throwing it on the washed shirt of a mess worker. Many of us put on music at loud volume in the middle of the night or any time for that matter without giving a care to whether other people might be disturbed. We jump queues, remove newspapers meant for everyone and take them to our rooms, and do all sorts of things that may not be correct. It just requires a little common sense to see that and to know where to draw the line. It is not that everyone belongs to this category, but still I wonder whether we deserve amenities like hot water if we can't be responsible for ourselves. A highly pessimistic view point, but if this is the case in a place like IISc, how can we expect people outside to behave better ...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

My previous articles

Since I have written only a meagre number of articles up to now, I can collect them, gloat over them like a child savouring the last bite of an ice cream :-) . The pdfs for all of them are attached. Each of these appeared in a previous Voices issue or bulletin or magazine.

bhOndOO goes to an IPL match (first appeared in another blog)
Choose your attitude
IISc as a subcity
The Unsung Heroes
The end of the beginning

Monday, February 16, 2009

The beginning

Hello

This is my first baby-step into the world of blogging. Embarrassed by my fellow Voiceians (Voices : a students group in IISc that I m a member of) and other people who seem to be at home in this world of blogging, I decided, in a (regrettable?) burst of enthusiasm, that I will join this world. No more, will I feel jealous of comments like "I read your latest post" !! It seems every aspiring writer worth his/her salt has a blog with a big following...

Well, in my opinion, there are three kinds of blogs. One - highly humorous and fictional, which garners the largest following. This blog by Rupesh is my favourite. Two - Entirely personal with inner thoughts and ambitions. Three - General thoughts which can be shared by everyone. These are some samples of blogs of type three by other Voiceians. Madhurima, Mukta, Maneesh.

Problem with type one is that I doubt that I have such a sense of humour. Problem with type two is I have rarely expressed my true feelings and so on to anyone, let alone publish them in a blog. So I have to fall back to type three. Of course all this is based on the assumption that my enthusiasm doesn't wane away after a couple of posts as seems to be the case with a lot of blogs. To be frank I almost gave up at the first step itself, finding a URL for my blog :-| , which proved to be rather tedious.

Well now that I have found an URL, let the journey begin :-).

-Arun