Of nostalgia and memories..

Two small incidents triggered this post..I just saw Yuvraj and Kaif batting together the other day. And then I suddenly yearned for one of those partnerships of yore, where they played together. And then sadly I was reminded of the realities of life, that this is now 2010 and not 2002 when Kaif got out after a miserable couple of hits.

The other incident that happened was Sachin hit a hook shot yesterday...after probably half a decade. I suddenly wanted those days back when hitting two boundaries an over were cherished and only classy people like Sachin were capable of it and not every Tom, Dick and Harry as is now the case.

I also saw a random advertisement the other day of some Max insurance where a child plays the fool with his parents about his marks and then recalled myself do something of that sort when I was around 10.

And then I stopped to think about it, and then remembered a lot more things which I suddenly missed. I missed the random nonsense shared with my BTech friends; the close ties, the fights, six people sitting on the corner-most table of 4 during meals with my IISc friends; the solving of intensely difficult Maths problems with my school friends and struggling hard preparing for IIT; all of which are now no longer possible.

Do I wish to turn the clock back to change anything? Probably not, those were great days with no major regrets. If anything, I would love to rewind it to the 2003 World Cup final, where Sachin would've played that recent innings of 200 and won the WC instead of miscuing a pull to McGrath in the first over.

Now things are just so dramatically different in office life, that all those days of school and college just mean nothing but memories. Not that office life isn't fun but still...the three earlier lives were great fun too while I was in those phases. Maybe one just has to move on, with nothing but all those memories left with you.

Visitor Count

Ghonchu opened Mozilla Firefox, pressed Ctrl+T and quickly wrote my-endless-ramblings.blogspot.com. He had told a girl named Sweetu in his office about his blog and had boasted that it had more than 1000 visits. The statistics on the right panel said 963 visitors. He wanted to quickly get it to 1000 visitors. His hard-work of opening the site three times daily in the last 321 days had successfully paid off. He was now only 37 short of the magic figure.

Desperate to reach 1000 visitors on the same day, Ghonchu thought of various ways to reach the four-figure mark. His possible options were:- 1) open and close his blog page 37 times. 2) Requesting a number of friends to open his blog site.

Ghonchu pressed the refresh button. The visitor count stayed at 963 visits. Previous experience had taught him that won't help, but being an optimist he anyway tried that trick again. He then closed the web-page, closed firefox, reopened it and reopened his blog page again. His web-page visitor count stubbornly refused to move. With sweat dripping from his face (although that might've been due to Hyderabad's temperature), he now restarted the machine, opened firefox and then opened his blog page again. The visitor count limped to 964 visits.

Whew, said Ghonchu to himself, "I can't restart my machine 36 more times." He decided to move to option two. He pinged Keechu, Pingu, Quietu and Chintu and told them to quickly visit his blog page a few times. Their response was typical. Quietu and Pingu did not reply back. Keechu exclaimed, "Sheesh, why on earth should I visit your blog? Don't I've anything better to do?" Pingu just started laughing on being told that Ghonchu had a blog, so Ghonchu decided not to pursue the matter further.

At wits end, Ghonchu wondered what to do. Then he remembered bhOndOO. bhOndOO was an old friend of his whom he hadn't talked to recently. bhOndOO maintained a blog too which was far more popular.

Desperation makes people do strange things. Ghonchu called up bhOndOO and requested him to visit his blog. Every drop was crucial to fill the ocean of 36 leftover visitors. bhOndOO in his usual non-committal way replied, "I will see what I can do." Ghonchu disappointed with all his friends, decided to give up and felt that he would have to apologize to Sweetu.

On reaching office the next day, he tried to avoid Sweetu. However, she met him unexpectedly and exclaimed, "Wow, Ghonchu! Your blog is really popular. You weren't boasting." Startled but delighted, Ghonchu quickly checked his blog-page and saw that his visitor count showed 1021 visits. Shocked and perplexed, Ghonchu thought how did this miracle happen!!

Then, while surfing he accidently went over to bhOndOO's blog. The topmost post said, "This post is for Ghonchu who is currently in a lazy mood. If you have his email id, please write to him some inspirational songs." Also provided was Ghonchu's blog link.

Ghonchu uttered a few abusive words like "#$%@^@^$@#@$@!#^#$%!!%$@#$". But then he smiled recalling the appreciation from Sweetu. So what if a few thousand people got to know that he was lazy.

One year completed

Today this blog celebrates its first birthday. The first post was on Feb 16, 2009.

(Thanks to Rupesh for pointing this out)

Ghonchu learns cooking

Unnerved by his previous rash experiences, Ghonchu decided to take a break and focus on personality development before proposing to someone again. He decided to develop his culinary talents which would add to his curriculum vitae before making another move. He began dreaming of himself as someone who would be surrounded by eager females once he added this noble art to the other skills (or the lack of skills) that he possessed.

Ghonchu entered the kitchen with an expression of one who is about to start a conquest. He looked around trying to decide what to start with. He went over to the stove and decided that every cook worth his salt should know how to start the gas stove with a lighter. With his face averted and hands outstretched and from a distance of 3 feet he tried to start the gas using the lighter. The distance between the lighter and the stove was 10 cms.

“Phatak”, said the lighter in his hand.

The gas remained stone cold. Slowly, Ghonchu moved closer with trepidation walking on tiptoe. The distance between Ghonchu and the stove reduced to two feet. The distance between the lighter and the stove reduced to 1cm. His hands outstretched, Ghonchu used the lighter. “Phatak”, said the lighter again.

The gas remained unmoved by Ghonchu’s attempts. The distance now reduced further. With a perspiring face, Ghonchu tried again. This time the lighter (along with the hand holding it) touched the stove for a split second, said “Phatak” and immediately withdrew to a safe distance of 3 feet and waited to see the after-effects. He averted his face as though a bomb might blast any moment.

The gas sneered at Ghonchu and the lighter. So it seemed to him. He began to think if this was worth the effort. Then he remembered the greater objective. This was part of a noble cause. So what if his hand got burnt. That would be a small sacrifice to make in the quest of crossing the first hurdle on his path. With a grim face and a steely resolve, Ghonchu tried again.

This time he said a prayer to God, mentally forced his hand to stay where it was, kept the lighter in contact with the stove and tried again, "Phatak". Same reaction by the stove. Nil! Ghonchu looked angrily at the unhelpful gas stove and uttered a few abusive words to it. He felt as though everyone in this world was conspiring against him.

Ghonchu decided to take a break. He went over to the sink, washed his sweaty palms and perspiring face, dried himself with a towel, drank a glass of water and prepared himself for another arduous battle. The first round had been won by the gas stove.

After loosening the top button of his shirt and rolling up his sleeves, Ghonchu faced the stove again. Taking a deep breath, courageously, he tried again. And again. And again and again. For around 15-20 times. Total reaction shown by the gas stove : nil.

Now tired, a thought occured to Ghonchu. "The gas may not be working. What could be the cause?" With an engineer's mind, Ghonchu listed out all the possibilities mentally and tried to pinpoint the fault.
"There is no gas. No, that is not possible since we started using this cylinder only yesterday."
"Could there be a faulty pipe due to which the stove isn't working? Let me check?"

Ghonchu bent down, looked underneath and tried feeling behind the stove. When he withdrew his hands they were full of soot. After he wiped off sweat on his face, the soot happily decided to settle there. Luckily there was no mirror in the kitchen.

With a black-and-white face, a tired body and nearly-reduced-to-tears, Ghonchu's eyes rested on something while his body was in the same bent position.

His eyes registered a knob below the stove, which had On-Off markings and a sign which indicated rotation.

Heaving a sigh, Ghonchu straightened, rotated the knob to the 'On' position and lit the stove calmly as though he had been doing it all his life. The gas burst into flames.

Unforeseen obstacles while proposing

Ghonchu walked into his office with a sense of purpose. A passive bystander might come to the conclusion that here goes a focused person with weighty issues on his mind and no time for idle chit-chat. That conclusion wasn't totally erroneous.

He had thought it all out the previous night. His strategy was clear. He was going speak his heart out to "her" today. He didn't know her name. He didn't know who she was. She seemed quite young and sweet. All he knew about her was the minor fact that she ate lunch at 12.30 and the more important fact that they were meant for each other and she would get to know that today.

Ghonchu walked to his cubicle, opened his mail and found seven pending action items from the previous day and three new had come up while he had been asleep. However his mind being on more important things, he ignored those tasks the same way as Nelson turned a blind eye.

He looked at his watch. It said 10:30. He had to wait till 12.30. After what he felt was quite a long time, he looked at his watch again. It said 10:31. As time trickles slowly when you wait for it, Ghonchu felt it would be an eternity before lunch time would come.

When his watch (finally) said 12.30, Ghonchu leapt from his seat like a cat on a hot tin roof. He turned around with the intention of going to the cafeteria. Two steps out of his cubicle, tragedy hit him. His manager, Seriousu spotted him!

"Hey Ghonchu, could you come to my cabin for a couple of minutes!"

"Yes." (#$@%@@%#%&#!@)

After debating over ETAs and what-nots for various tasks assigned to Ghonchu, he managed to cleverly extricate himself from his manager's clutches in just twelve minutes and thirty-seven seconds. There was still time. However, just as Ghonchu was exiting Seriousu's cabin, he asked, "Ghonchu, do you want to go for lunch?"

"Today is Tuesday and all this is happening because I didn't read Hanuman Chalisa. I will only be able to do this task tomorrow", Ghonchu consoled himself with this thought.

"Yes", said Ghonchu to his manager resigning himself to the fact that he won't be able to speak his heart out to "her" today.

On reaching the cafeteria (with his manager), Ghonchu spotted her sitting alone at her usual place. Not wanting to miss out on the opportune moment and forgetting that he hadn't read Hanuman Chalisa, he excused himself from his manager saying he would join him in a few minutes.

Ghonchu walked confidently to her or at least no one seemed to have noticed his legs shaking. Be calm and composed, he told himself. He went and stood in front of her.

"Hi, can I talk to you for a couple of minutes?", he asked in a voice which seemed similar to that of a quivering jellyfish.

"Yes?", she replied with a questioning expression. Her reaction didn't seem enthusiastic or as though she had found her soul-mate. It sounded more like indifference.

Undaunted, Ghonchu continued, "Hi, My name is Ghonchu. I ..."

"Trnng trnng."

Confused and reminded of his past experiences with a phone, Ghonchu looked around.

"Excuse me", she said to Ghonchu and lifted her phone.

"Yes, amma. Is Rahul back from play-school?"

Ghonchu stood stock-still for a moment like a statue, mumbled something unintelligible, walked away cursing himself with his face crimson red.

He rejoined his manager who had watched the scene from afar. "Who was she?", he asked with a roguish glint in his eye.

With all signs of mortification wiped off from his face, Ghonchu nonchalantly replied, "Just an acquaintance."

Of idol worship .. and a gamut of emotions ..

Disclaimer : Written in a tired frame of mind
___________________________________________________

I read an article once about idol worship. It said ordinary people attach themselves so deeply to their idols that they develop a sense of belonging to their respective idols. If I recall correctly that article was referring more to film stars.

Well, I don't know if that is true in my case. Anyways after watching yesterday's cricket match at the Hyderabad stadium, I went blank, hence this post to vent it all out.
An overwhelming affection, admiration and respect (and all the other such feelings)
- For someone whom I have grown up watching and admiring and idolizing.
- For someone whose stature is not determined by his height.
- For someone who has withstood enough pressure over 20 years equivalent to that felt thousands of feet below sea level.
- For someone who has carried this tired, developing nation's burden of happiness and joy for 20 years.
- For someone who has somehow still escaped unscathed with a clean heart and humble demeanour despite the overwhelming adulation.
- For someone whose pain is felt by millions.
- For someone who, if he tweaks a muscle or cramps up, the entire nation feels that pain.
- For someone who, despite all he has done has to answer questions about his match-winning abilities.
- For someone who scores 175 of 141 balls and gets another ignominious record of scoring the third highest runs in a losing cause (the other two were made batting first).
- For someone who feels the pain of losing more than anyone else.
- For someone, whose batting I have never been able to enjoy. I spend most of time in anxiety praying "please don't get out". It is more soothing to see him at the runner's end.
- For someone who is a GOD worshipped in this country.
- For someone named SACHIN TENDULKAR.

There is a saying, "You get a chance to walk with Gods only once in a lifetime." If its true, I used up my chance yesterday.
I imagine myself telling someone 20 years from now - "Do you know that I watched Sachin hit his 45th century. And what an innings that was !!"

I wish we had won yesterday. Not for myself or for a billion others, who would feel disappointed, make a few comments - appreciative or snide, sleep it off and then get back to their daily routines the next day. But for someone who did so much with a tired body of 36. Still with an enthusiasm of a teenager. In the end, I was left wishing that he had scored nought but not have had to feel that same old pain of watching his team fall at the final hurdle. Not to mention hearing the criticism again of not being a match-winner.

In the end, I have nothing left except a tired mind with a gentle sense of melancholy, wishing we had won .. Just for his sake. In the end, there is nothing left except a pathetic looking wrist band which signifies I walked with the Gods at Rajiv Gandhi Stadium in Uppal, Hyderabad yesterday.


This is a compilation of some comments made about Him on different occasions.

Ghonchu attends a meeting

Ghonchu walked through his office gate with his head held high. He felt important. He was to attend a meeting with his manager and some other people.
As he entered the conference room, he paused to look back into the glass and make sure that his hair looked in shape, tucked his shirt and forced a smile which made it look as though he had toothache. Everyone within the room was present and the meeting had already started.
“You are late”, barked a voice which belonged to his manager. “I am never late. I arrive precisely when I mean to”, Ghonchu nearly thundered, having heard of this quote in Lord of the Rings. However he managed to keep his common sense and mustered a meek “Sorry”.
The meeting proceeded with no one paying any further attention to Ghonchu. Their discussion, none of which Ghonchu understood seemed to be at a climax. They were trying to decide which would be the best way to reduce ETA. Would it be a good idea to compromise on the P0 cases or should they go ahead and not worry about ETA. Since Ghonchu didn’t know what ETA or P0 meant, he lost interest and started day-dreaming.
Suddenly, the room was filled with music, “and we twist, we twist, we twist ...” Everyone looked at Ghonchu. However, Ghonchu was more concerned about his manager’s stare. Ghonchu was reminded of a starving crocodile that had just spotted lunch. He twisted in his seat with a dexterity that Deepika Padukone would have been proud of and switched off his mobile.
The manager however continued to look at Ghonchu and started the following conversation. “Ghonchu, will you do the P1?”
“Ummm, ok.” (“What the hell are they?”)
“Good. ETA?”
“Eh”, replied Ghonchu with a blank expression.
“What do you think the ETA would be?”
“Ummm. I don’t know.” (“What does ETA stand for, please someone help.”)
“Hmm. Also make sure that P0 stays in good health.”
“Ok”, said Ghonchu praying for the continued good health of P0.
“P2 shouldn’t be a problem anyways.”
“Ok.” (“How many damned P’s are there?”)
“If you can’t decide the ETA, I think EOW should be enough. What do you think?”
Silence. (“Which idiot had to call me! I was sitting peacefully.”)
“Ghonchu?”
“Ummm. Fine.” (“I had to start saying something other than – ok.”)
“Great, while looking at P1, make sure that the NRPT settings come up if you are outside. However if you are inside there should be no SAs created.”
Another silence. (“What is this new devilry?”)
“Ummm, hmmm.” (“Anymore of this and I will start screaming for help.”)
“That’s it for today.”
“Thanks.” (“Whew!! I refuse to attend any more meetings.”)

PS:
ETA : Expected Time of Accomplishment
EOW : End Of Week
P0,P1,P2 : test cases for a product

Hmm..unfair..

Well, the AP CM has passed away!
Along with 4 other nondescript people!
Why are they nondescript? Because we don't care about them. All that matters is the CM.

On the little time I spend surfing news channels, I see only condolences to the CM's family etc etc.. No doubt the gesture is appreciable, but nobody apparently remembers the personal secy of the CM or the pilots etc.

I wonder about the others' families. Having lost their loved ones, and then to bear the humiliation of not being given their due importance; forget condolences. Oh no, all that is important is the CM. For him, all kinds of security forces, commandos and others not to mention the helicopters are expendable.

I also wonder about the pilots especially; they would have known that it is not advisable to travel, but they couldn't refuse the top brass, could they? Now they are gone for no fault of theirs and lie quietly in their anonymity.

Reminds me of a scene in 'The Dark Knight' where the Joker convinces Harvey Dent, "When a mayor goes, everyone panics. But when normal people are blown up, it doesn't matter. Because it is all according to plan. Introduce a little anarchy!!"

The world is apparently kind of unfair.....

Ghonchu talks on the telephone

Ghonchu entered his office for the first time. He saw a glass door in the distance which seemed closed. There was no gate-keeper and no apparent way to open the door. He walked towards it with trepidation and wondered how would he enter. However, as he went closer the door opened on its own. Unnerved but relieved, marveling the tech-savvy organization, he entered the office.

After entering, and completing some formalities, Ghonchu went to his new cubicle and looked around. 1.5 meters high, it gave him the protection and freedom to do whatever he wanted. However the drawback was that he couldn't see anyone (read girls) passing by.

He sat on his desk and looked around. A number of things were lying on the table - the computer monitor, a telephone, a water bottle etc. Impressed, Ghonchu praised his company for taking good care of the employees. Nobody from the adjacent cubicles was paying any attention to him. He opened his favourite website : www.orkut.com.

Within 10 seconds of opening orkut the telephone rang - trrrrng trrrrng. Ghonchu jumped one foot on his chair and looked at the telephone as though it was a snake. Ghonchu's train of thought went as follows :- "This is a very techy organization. They know I opened orkut.com which must be banned. They are calling me and going to scold me or worse even expel me."

Ghonchu quickly closed the website and looked at the phone hoping it would stop on its own. However, the telephone continued to ring, trrrrng trrrrng. With shaking hands, Ghonchu lifted the telephone.

The ringing stopped soon after.

Ghonchu said 'Hello' in a quivering voice.

He heard a 'hello'. After which, there was a silence for 10 seconds. Ghonchu thought they were deciding on what punishment to mete out to him.

After another 10 seconds, Ghonchu mustered enough courage to then say 'Yes?'.

He heard, "That cannot be done. It won't work."

Worried, Ghonchu said, "It worked for me, but I am sorry. I won't do it again. Maybe your site-blocker didn't work properly."

The reply came, "What? No, even that isn't possible."

"But, orkut did open."

"See, if you add this feature, it would mean a lot of change to the code. That would be difficult. The entire thing would have to be rewritten."

Ghonchu blinked in perplexity, slowly as realization hit him, he cautiously got up, saw the person in the next cubicle talking on the phone. He sat down quietly, kept the phone back on the hook and reopened orkut.com.

Interesting...

A couple of interesting things which I observed at my office :-

- Whenever, people around here wish you to look up something - they say 'bing' it. On a couple of occasions, it was actually a conscious effort, something like 'goo..bing it'.

- Recently, during a presentation, the speaker gave an example of what might go wrong with a program. His words were as follows - "Let's say a program crashes. A program like uh..uh.. google talk may crash" .. and so on. Again, the pause was palpable.

Interesting though :-)