Of cynicism, Howard Roark and more cynicism ...

I read the Fountainhead recently. My conclusions -

• It is a very heavy book and it hurt both my wrists.

• It is a very heavy book and gave me a headache after reading it.

• It is a very powerful novel, whether you agree to it or not, it gives you a lot as food for thought.

• It hurts one's self esteem a lot; I found I have a lot in common with Peter Keating and none with Howard Roark.

• I feel unworthy of even doing a review of this book; it seems similar to analyzing the 'The Gallant Gallstones', a futile book written by Lois Cook. Ayn Rand subtly or not-so-subtly mocks fun at such frivolous people who try to analyze books and incorporate them in their own lives.

• I felt as though every thought or question I had for the book, was answered then and there itself.

• Normally, I am indifferent to philosophical books unless I am in a disturbed state of mind. The fact that this book affected me is a testimony to its power.

Also I read this blog post recently. Enjoyed it a lot; for its tinge of cynicism. All in all, I feel quite cynical right now towards a lot of things.

I attended a meeting recently where I was the youngest. Without going into details, it was about trying to do something. Is it the case, that as you grow older you tend to ramble a lot? That was the conclusion I came to. The people in that meeting were all wonderful, they had vast experiences and were genuine. However, they talked on and on about what they had done, rather than what needed to be done. Some of them told us what they didn't like, what was actually the problem with the system!! ; and bored me to death, apart from irritating me as well. I listened and listened and listened. Also, somewhere it made me feel cynically like one of those people who sit under fans, ACs comfortably and casually discuss what should be done. That is a pity...

This does away with my cynicism. I am not proud of this post.

PS : If I try to be too cynical, after re-reading the post, I found that I did exactly what I mentioned. Narrated my own experiences, rambled on.. and told what I didn't like ... Either cynicism is making me too clever, or I am falling prey to my own criticisms.