Sunday, March 4, 2012

Ghonchu watches Cricket

Ghonchu was excited. He was watching the India-Australia one day match with his friends Sweetu, Superstu, Logicu and Irritatu on a big TV and the match was poised nicely for any team to win. Sachin was hitting fours and sixes at regular intervals. He had made a difficult target achievable by his batting.

Ghonchu’s friends were excitedly discussing the possibilities of the match’s result – the various ifs and buts. India still needed to hit more than six runs per over; so more fours and sixes were needed. However, soon disaster struck. Sachin got out and so did another batsman.

As all of them were sitting in despair, Ghonchu got up to go to the washroom. Unsurprisingly with the Ghonchu’s of this world; catastrophe struck. He turned around to go to the washroom; and in the immediate 3 seconds after that the following sequence of events happened in order:-
  -Ghonchu promptly tripped over Sweetu who was sitting just behind him.
  -Ghonchu’s left arm went up at 10 o’clock w.r.t his body.
  -Ghonchu’s right arm quickly grabbed Sweetu’s shoulder in an attempt to balance himself.
  -Ghonchu’s right leg was on the ground while the left was in air.
  -Ghonchu’s right arm went up at 2 o’clock.
  -Ravindra Jadeja hit a six.     
  -Ghonchu’s left leg contacted the floor; he landed on all fours, behind Sweetu and his face hit the leftovers of cheese burst domino’s pizza which they had ordered.        

“Six!!!”, screamed Superstu, Logicu and Irritatu while Sweetu tried to help Ghonchu get up. Ghonchu, eventually got up looking totally bemused and his head was rotating 360 degrees.

Then, Superstu looked at Ghonchu and exclaimed in delight, “Ghonchu is the key to our success.  He must be in the same position, for India to continue playing well.”
Everyone got excited by this theory. Ghonchu however snapped, “What rubbish! I don’t believe in this all this nonsense.”
However, everyone shushed Ghonchu. Superstu ordered, “Ghonchu, stand with your face away from the TV. You ‘ll not watch the match.”
Irritatu added, “Both your hands must be up in the air, and left leg off the ground.”
Ghonchu refused angrily, “No, I will not.”
Sweetu added, “I think you should, Ghonchu. What if this actually helps.”
“Et tu, Sweetu”, thought Ghonchu reminded of Brutus and Julius Caesar.

“But I want to see the match, it is in such an exciting stage,” moaned Ghonchu. “Also India was hitting fours and sixes earlier too, weren’t they; and then I was watching every ball.”
“That was Sachin, Ghonchu. Gods don’t need your help. Mere mortals like Ravindra Jadeja need all the help they can get from us”, reasoned Logicu.

Ghonchu looked left and right for support, saw none coming and miserably twisted his body in the desired position. Soon, however something struck his mind.

“When that incident happened, I caught hold of Sweetu’s hand to balance myself. Should I be holding her hand too?” asked Ghonchu, hoping that some good might come out of this situation.
“No”, said Irritatu coldly. “At the exact moment when the six was hit, both your hands were in air. Do just that.” Ghonchu subsided quietly.

After sometime, Ghonchu’s body reminded him why he had gotten up in the first place and what caused the accident. “Ummm”, he began. No one paid attention to him. Superstu ordered him to shut up.
 “Ummm, actually the reason I got up then was because I wanted to go the washroom”, mumbled Ghonchu. They all looked at each other and then eventually Logicu said, “Okay, go at the end of this over and come back quickly.”

Irritatu further rubbed salt in his wounds, “Seriously, Ghonchu!! People are fighting for our country, here they are playing hard and trying their best to win; and you can’t exercise a little control for your nation.”
“Ya, well easy for you to say! Its not your bladder”, thought Ghonchu but did not voice his thoughts.

After this happened, another ten minutes passed by where India continued to play averagely, scoring singles but the required run rate kept going higher. Ghonchu unable to see, was depending on commentary as to what was happening behind him.

Soon, however his left leg started aching. He humbly requested, “Can I at least change the leg which is off the ground?” Just as he said that, Ravindra Jadeja got run-out. 
Logicu explained, “Changing legs is like doing the absolute opposite. Hence even your suggestion to change legs had this terrible impact.”
Superstu and Irritatu both looked at him angrily,”Ghonchu, why don’t you just keep your mouth shut?”

Ghonchu resigned to his fate decided probably that was the best thing to do. He stood quietly in the awkward position as the match neared its end. However, despite Ghonchu’s best efforts India continued to lose wickets and eventually lost the match in a close finish.

With a sigh of relief, Ghonchu came back to normal posture as the others around him looked forlorn at India’s loss.
“See, I told you this is all superstitious nonsense. You just had to trouble me”, Ghonchu feeling he should prove a point.

Superstu looked at him and said angrily, “Because of our belief in you we brought the match so close. If you had a little belief in yourself, we would have won the match easily. It is your lack of faith which cost us the match.”
Irritatu ended, “yes, now you will be made to stand like this for the next match too.”